he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize