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that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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