So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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