You can't motorboat a personality
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
