Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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