I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
