Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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