I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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