marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
