she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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