Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
no you cant smoke seaweed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
