oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
