Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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