Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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