Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
