The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
