Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
