I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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