there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
