i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize