Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize