That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
