Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
