i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
