he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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