Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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