I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize