wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
