fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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