I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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