in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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