ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
