Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
