I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
