gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
