we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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