she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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