Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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