that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
MIDGETS
????
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
