is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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