Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
