Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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