dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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