We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize