I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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