More tranny stories later!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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