so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
