My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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