you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
