R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
