you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
