You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
