she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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