Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
