I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize