you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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