What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
